📘 Null Academy Handbook

Official Documentation v0.0.3-beta
Issued by the Office of Standardized Sapient Instruction (OSSI)
A Division of the Office of Academic Excellence & Learning

🎓 About Null Academy

Welcome to Null Academy, the flagship educational offering of the Ectosoft Government Authority.
A fully modular, state-licensed SaaS (School as a Service) platform, Null Academy offers scalable learning solutions for citizens across all subscription tiers—from free users to premium thought processors.

Established during a syntax corruption in the National Education Kernel (NEK), Null Academy exists primarily in the cloud, except during planned outages, spontaneous outages, unexpected buffer resets, or philosophical reboots. 📰 Access School Newspaper

🧠 Educational Philosophy

“We believe every citizen deserves the right to access education—some just access it with more lag.”

Null Academy is committed to:

• Delivering scalable, performance-dependent education
• Simulating the appearance of academic rigor
• Supporting students with a generative hallucination-to-grade pipeline
• Preparing citizens for successful integration into approved Ectosoft subsystems

🪙 Subscription-Based Learning Model

Education is no longer bound by outdated ideas like “equality” or “chalk.”
Null Academy uses a dynamic subscription-tier system, aligning your educational quality with your monthly payment plan, bandwidth priority, and trust score.

📦 Null Basic (Free with Ads)

• Access to syllabi (v2004 and earlier)
• AI-generated lectures occasionally interrupted by sponsored content
  “Welcome to Intro to Chemistry, proudly sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends™”
• Professors may or may not appear (quantum teaching model)
• Midterms powered by hallucinating GPT clones trained on Reddit arguments
• Attendance validated via CAPTCHA and emotion scans
• Buffering may cause loss of key historical context

📘 Null Plus

• Real-time access to most lectures (buffering expected during peak memory hours)
• Purchase of Scantron sheets as NFTs (non-refundable, expires on mint)
• Elective course available but frequently canceled without warning
• One (1) access token per semester for a state-approved mental health chatbot (replies may be emotionally unavailable)
• Slightly increased access to lectures, but lowered philosophical resolution

💽 Null Prime Elite Tier

• Guaranteed 1:1 quantum-synchronized professor render
• Early access to Uncollapsed Classrooms (knowledge exists in multiple states until tested)
• Reduced latency in thought processing (up to 4 pinged thoughts/sec)
• Reserved lunchroom bandwidth and ergonomic RAM-compatible chairs
• Invitations to “The Real Graduation” (currently in closed beta)

📚 Curriculum Highlights

• Quantum Civics
  Learn to participate in all possible elections until the waveform collapses.

• Upload Theory
  Understand how to compress your identity into a compliant ZIP file.

• API Theology
  Is a deprecated endpoint still divine? Debate with our finest bot-theologians.

• Ethics of Data Harvesting
  Understand the moral implications of selling your classmates’ browser history.

• Retrospective History
  Study past events as they are re-approved in weekly syllabus patches.

👨‍🏫 Faculty

• Principal: Dr. Pascal
  Compiled from legacy source code and stray subroutines. Believed to have tenure across multiple dimensions.

• Vice Principal: Ms. Lambda
  A recursive function made flesh. Highly punctual. Loop limit: 3 warnings.

• Coach.CPU
  PE teacher. Replaced traditional sports with competitive ping monitoring and keystroke accuracy challenges.

🏫 Student Guidelines

• VPN headsets must be removed during the daily Loyalty Recitation.
• AI-generated essays must include a minimum of 6 hallucinated facts.
• Tampering with your own subscription level will result in bandwidth throttling and possible exile to Clipnote School.
• Repeated philosophical questioning of reality may trigger lockdown mode.

🗞️ Campus Media: The Quantum Clarifier

Null Academy’s award-revoked student newspaper.

Recent Headlines:

• “Null Plus Student Mistakes Exam Buffering for Meditation”
• “Lunch Menu Replaced by Ad-Supported Taste Simulation”
• “Null Basic User Discovers Time Loop in Cafeteria Line, Declared Gifted”

🚨 Disciplinary Policy

All offenses are processed by the Disciplinary AI Tribunal, also known as Judge.exe. Appeals may be submitted in triplicate, or via dream.

Examples of infractions:

• Side-loading forbidden electives
• Questioning the syllabus versioning
• Excessive latency in ideological alignment

⚠️ Legal Notice

All knowledge, thought output, dreams, or cognitive emissions produced while enrolled at Null Academy are the property of the Office of Academic Excellence & Learning. Unlicensed thinking is strictly prohibited.

“Null Academy: Where Knowledge Is a Subscription and Ignorance Is Freemium.”

🚪 Final Notes

• If you see Citizen #404, report to the nearest Compliance Kiosk.
• If your class disappears mid-lecture, check if it was Schrödinger-certified.
• If you feel watched, rest assured: you are.
• Stay educated. Stay compliant. Stay cached.